Turning Point

I am having a feeling that 2012 will be a big turning point for me.. like 2008 had been to me.
Yeah, I will be graduating soon.. though it's just a diploma. I am not feeling very happy for that as I know difficulities will be coming along after the graduation.

I am currently looking for job opportunities but I am lack of courages. Whenever I see the skills required in job description, I am starting to doubt my skills. And I realize more and more that I have no specialized skills. That's what my diploma turns me out. I know IT and I know some of business theories, but that doesn't mean I am good at both subjects. In fact, I am good at none. It just makes me feel not going for work force and stick at studying for more three years untill I specialize in at least one major very well.. :S

I got invitation from NUS to visit their school and explore about their education programmes, financial aids and scholarships. This is very very good opportunity, but will visiting NUS let me able to continue my university study there? I already have the answer of "No". It's so sad to say the truth but yeah.. I can't really afford it. Besides, I want to be free from this life of depending on my brother. My parents will not be able to support it , so I have left with not much choice. It's either I struggle hard and study or live comfortably and work. I am weighing the options. But I think I would choose University Study if there is a way out . :)

Besides school and work, I really want to be free from these hardship feelings of relationships. I am really tired of it actually. I am selfish and I know it. But I don't want to accept things that I don't want anymore. And I also don't want to dream and chase the things that cannot exist anymore. The reality is shocking. There are much more important things than love for me now. I realize more and more that I hate the feeling of being someone's belonging. I just want to be me, myself and be freeee. I hope this doesn't offend anyone..

Wish 2012 will bring me "bright future and good things" to me..