အျပစ္မျမင္

ဒီသီခ်င္းကို အခုတေလာ အရမ္း ခံစားျဖစ္ေနတယ္။ အခ်စ္ဆိုတာ လူတစ္ေယာက္ကို ဘယ္ေလာက္ထိေျပာင္းလဲပစ္ေစႏိုင္လဲ။ ၾကည္ႏူးရတဲ့ အခိုက္အတန္႔ေတြ ရွိသလုိ စိတ္ညစ္ရတဲ့အခိုက္အတန္႔ေတြလည္း ရွိခဲ့တယ္။ ကိုယ့္ဘက္က အမွား မပါေပမယ့္ သူ႔ဘက္က ျဖစ္ေစခ်င္တဲ့အရာကို မလုပ္ႏိုင္ခဲ့ေတာ့ သူစိတ္ညစ္မွာေပါ့..။ တျခားသူသာဆို ေဒါသထြက္မိလိမ့္မယ္။ အခုေတာ့ ၀မ္းနည္းရတယ္။ သူလည္းပဲ ခံစားေနရတာ နားလည္ေနလို႔..။ သူ ကိုယ့္ကုိ အလုိမက်လို႔ စိတ္တိုတဲ့အခါ သူ႔ကိုယ္သူ ပုိျပီး စိတ္တိုအျပစ္တင္ေနမွာ ..မျမင္ရ မေျပာျပေပမယ့္ အလိုလို နားလည္မိေနတာကိုး... ။ အျပစ္မျမင္ပါဘူး.. အရာရာ နားလည္မွဳေတြနဲ႔ပါ..

ေနာက္တစ္ခါ ေနာက္တစ္ခါ ဒီလိုမ်ိဳး မျဖစ္ေစရပါဘူး...



အခ်စ္က အသိခက္တဲ့ ကဗ်ာေလးပဲ
ခြင့္လႊတ္ခ်စ္တတ္ေအာင္ တို႔ ၾကိဳးစားၾကည့္တယ္
လွ်ိဳ႕၀ွက္ခ်က္မ်ားစြာထဲမွာ အျမဲတမ္း တ၀ဲလည္လည္
မွားလည္းေလ မွားပါေစေတာ့ကြယ္ ~~~

Grown Up & Mature or Spoiled & Crazier?

ဆယ္တန္းတုန္းက ဓာတုေဗဒ သင္တဲ့ ဆရာမ ေဒၚၾကည္ၾကည္၀င္း ေျပာခဲ့တဲ့ စကား တစ္ခြန္းရွိတယ္။
ဒီတစ္သက္ လုပ္ခဲ့ဖူးတဲ့ အရာေတြထဲမွာ ေနာင္တအရဆံုး အရာတစ္ခု ရွိတယ္တဲ့။ အဲဒါက ေမာင္ႏွမေတြနဲ႔ လက္တည့္စမ္းျပီး အရက္ တစ္ခါ စမ္းေသာက္ခဲ့တာတဲ့။ ဘုရားမၾကိဳက္တဲ့အရာ.. အကုသိုလ္ေတြ လုပ္ဖုိ႔ လွဳံေဆာ္ေပးႏုိင္ဆံုး အရာ တစ္ခု ကို သူ လုပ္ခဲ့မိတာ ေနာင္တအရဆံုးတဲ့။

အဲဒီ စကား ၾကားျပီး ေနာက္ပိုင္း ငါ အရက္နဲ႔ ပတ္သတ္တာေတြ လံုး၀ မေသာက္ဘူးလို႔ ဆံုးျဖတ္ခ်က္ ခ်ထားခဲ့တယ္။ ဒါေပမယ့္ ခုေနာက္ပိုင္း အေတြးအေခၚေတြ ေျပာင္းလာတယ္ စိတ္ဓာတ္ေတြ ေျပာင္းလာတယ္။ လက္တည့္စမ္းခ်င္တဲ့ စိတ္ဆိုတာ ဒါမ်ိဳး ေနမယ္။ ျပီးေတာ့ "Learn to socialize" ဆိုတဲ့ စကားေနာက္ကြယ္မွာ ပုန္းျပီး စမ္းသပ္မိတယ္။

ခုထိေတာ့ အရက္မေသာက္ဖူးေသးပါဘူး။ အရက္နံ႔ကို မခံႏိုင္ဘူး။ ဒါေပမယ့္ ဘီယာ၊ ၀ိုင္ နဲ႔ ထန္းရည္  ေတာ့ စမ္းျပီးျပီ။ ၀ိုင္ကေတာ့... ျပန္သတိမရခ်င္တဲ့ ေန႔ တစ္ေန႔ မွာ စေသာက္ဖူးတယ္။ ဘီယာကေတာ့ လြန္ခဲ့တဲ့ ႏွစ္ရက္ေလာက္က ေသာက္ၾကည့္တယ္။ ဘီယာဆိုေပမယ့္ Fruit Beer ပါ.. ဒါေပမယ့္လည္း နည္းနည္း ခါးတာပဲ။ ၀ုိင္နဲ႔ ဘာမွ မျဖစ္ေပမယ့္ ဘီယာကေတာ့ သံုးငံုေလာက္ဆို စမူးေနျပီ။ အိမ္မွာ ေသာက္လို႔ ေတာ္ေသးတယ္။ သူကေတာ့ ေျပာတယ္ အဲဒါ မေသာက္ဖူးေတာ့ အူရိုင္းသြားျပီး မူးတာတဲ့..။ မူးေနလို႔လားမသိဘူး အဲ့ဒီေန႔က ေတာ္ေတာ္ စကားေျပာတယ္။

အခု ျပန္စဥ္းစားၾကည့္ေတာ့ လူက ၂၀ေက်ာ္ေနျပီ.. ရင့္က်က္တာလည္း မဟုတ္ေသးပါဘူး။.. အမွားေတြလည္း ဆက္တုိက္လုပ္ေနတုန္း။ ျပီး ဘာမဆို စမ္းသပ္ခ်င္ေနတဲ့ စိတ္ရွိလာတယ္.. ျဖစ္ေသးဘူး.. ဘီယာ အဆင့္နဲ႔ ရပ္ထားရမယ္။.. အရက္ေတာ့ မခံႏိုင္ဘူး..
လူက ပ်က္စီးဖုိ႔ လမ္းအစမွာ ရပ္မိေနတယ္။ ဘာေတြ ျဖစ္ေနလဲ ကိုယ့္ကုိယ္ကို သိတယ္။ ေနာက္မဆုတ္ေနေပမယ့္ ေရွ႔ေတာ့ မတိုးႏိုင္ဘူး။ မၾကာခင္ လမ္းလႊဲေပၚလာမွာပါ .. အခ်ိန္ကို ေစာင့္ရမွာေပါ့။

Feeling blues

I didn't call him last night. It made my heart painful... I know he would be wondering and worrying about me by now ... But  I had to do that cuz I was so out of control last night.. and I can't risk him hearing my voice and sensing my troubled mind. If he asked me why my voice is like that... I am afraid to tell him truth.. and if I said 'nothing'.. he will get mad at me secretly..  He won't show his anger immediately, but after days later.. he will turn back to it and ask again. Oh boy.. sometimes the way you being serious about little things, when others may think it childish.. it makes me adore u more. As it is because u care so much and being sincere about me.

And here I am again... everyday having troulbe with the fear of losing you someday..

I don't want to ask many things in my life... I just wanna have a peaceful life with you in my future. May my love give me courage to overcome all the difficulties ahead.

All about you

Last night, I cried so much to the extent that I couldn't even breathe properly. I know this time, it's just temporary seperation. But I'm afraid it will turn out like last time... Can't you see my ultimate fear of losing you? Every night I go to bed missing you, I miss your hug and I recall the time I held you in my arms and not wanting to let you go. I miss you terribly.

Love is somehow selfish. Of course in the progress, we learn to sacrifice, sympathize, share and give up for each other. But the fear of losing you begins with the desire of possesing you --  to be with you every day and want your love to be only for me. I'm frightened by my love now. I am worried that I won't be able to endure the pain if I have to let you go one day by uncontrollable reasons and situations. I am worried my love would burden you one day and try to control your freedom without me realizing it. I am worried of my ego, my anger and my other half which could hurt you.

You know what is happening to me through my voice, and you always try to comfort me and make me happy when I'm down. It really made me feel warm when you tried to lift my mood by singing that song. I promise I'll be happy for you.

You like to exaggerate but you never tell words that's not from your heart. The best part of you is you don't pretend even if it takes making people think bad of you. The same goes for how you treated me back then. You didn't pretend like you still cared for me after we parted for a year. After all these years, I am the only who pretends and have doubts on you. But now,I know you are not lying to me and that you really love me and care for me. I have no doubts and I believe in our mutual love that is so deep, true and beautiful.