Post No #sth

I've read another Tat-Ka-Tol Bhone Naing novel မ်က္ရည္ေလာကမ်ား၏ဟိုမွာဘက္ and once again I feel so devastated and disappointed after finishing it. Although I like his writing, why are his characters always so complex? May be it is due to generation difference, but I really hate that kind of endings :( .

And as usual, I think of you. I think that your mind might have been influenced by his books by seeing that you are more mature than me. Your thinking is always very different from me though we are of same age. Sometimes, I didn't like when you told me those strange and deep words that I couldn't comprehend. But I think I can understand you and your words now. (How did you even endure my childish behaviours and thinkings? )

I wonder whether I can move on completely without dwelling on past. I wonder whether I won't be doing second mistake again. I wonder, after all these pains, whether I can love a person so much like others. I wonder whether the person I am loving now .. loves me or not. I wonder whether we can be together even if we love each other. Future is a scary imagination, but just simply following my heart might break my heart in future. However, I feel so confused but I can't seem to stop loving him and missing him. :(
I am not guilty to love, but love comes with pain and I don't like it distracting me from my study. Oh. I don't really like my current self... really..

R.e.m.e.m.b.e.r

ဘာလိုလိုနဲ႔ ႏွစ္ႏွစ္ ျပည့္ခဲျ့ပီပဲ....
တစ္ခ်ိန္ခ်ိန္မွာေတာ့ ခံစားရခဲ့တာေတြ အားလံုး ေမ့သြားမွာပါ။
Time heals... and only memories will be left.. not the feelings

Just some quote

I saw one of my friends' post in facebook and really like it. I don't know it is her own writing or not though.. 

It is something I should always remember and take note of. When my anger, my pride over power my heart and brain, may this post will help me and calm my mind. 

တို႔ႏွစ္ေယာက္ တစ္ေယာက္ကိုတစ္ေယာက္ခ်စ္ခင္စံုမက္ေနရဲ႕သားနဲ႕
ဘယ္လိုေဘးပေရာဂေတြကမွ ဝင္ေရာက္မတားဆီးဘဲနဲ႕
ႏွစ္ေယာက္စလံုး လိမၼာပါးနပ္ရင္ ထာဝရေပ်ာ္ရႊင္ႏိုင္မွာကိုသိရက္နဲ႕
အခ်ိန္ေတြကကိုယ္ေတြရဲ႕ဘဝေတြကို တိုက္စားသြားၿပီဆိုတာေနာင္တရေနရက္နဲ႕
ဘာမွန္းမသိရတဲ႔ အျဖစ္အပ်က္ေတြအတြက္
ဘာေၾကာင့္ျဖစ္မွန္းမသိရတဲ႔ အေၾကာင္းအရာေတြအတြက္
ဘာကိုမွထပ္ၿပီးမစဥ္းစားၾကေတာ့ဘဲ
ဘယ္သူကမွဘယ္သူ႕မ်က္ႏွာကို မေထာက္ထား မငဲ႔ကြက္ေတာ့ဘဲ
အႏွစ္ႏွစ္အလလ စုစည္းတည္ေဆာက္ထားတဲ႔အရာတစ္ခုကို
အလြယ္တကူလက္လႊတ္လိုက္ရတယ္ဆိုရင္
ဒါဟာ မင္းေရာ ကိုယ္ေရာသိပ္ညံ႕လို႕ဘဲ။

Sometimes we just drift apart for no reason.. There may be misunderstanding, or disapointment, but why keep all to yourself instead of settling it by being honest. Arguments are not bad and we can explain each other and even understand better through good arguments.

But yeah when it's time to say goodbye, we will have to say goodbye no matter what.. 

Random again

Just posted because I was so boring.. and feeling sad that the precious three months holidays are over now !_! ...Lectures are staring next week and I feel like I didn't rest so well during holidays. Well I mostly work so can't complain $_$

The month of August has never been good to me. Last year I lost my phone in August and this year I was seriously sick because of flu.. It's a relief that I recoverd this fast. I really wanted to donate blood but then the illness spoiled everything! Please August, be good to me at least once!

Today I watched so many videos. Rewatched Sherlock holmes Season3Ep1 'The Empty Hearse' (I'm really addicted to this series and I don't know how many times I will be rewatching them. Like I rewatched HP countless times :D) And I also watched the movie "Confucius", it gave me so much lessons and somehow taught me to appreciate the ancient chinese traditions. They are so admirable especially how they respect their teachers.

And lastly this song is not new, but became my favourite today. I love the MV, the song lyrics and of cuz not to mention the singer 'Lee Sun Hee'. :)

 

I never wished for fate to bring us so close
Now that you're gone , my days are useless
Of all the people, I met you
It was like a dream
And the love I got from you
It was like a miracle

I thought I was ready
I was sure I'd be fine
But look where I am
I can't let you go
Of all the people, I met you
It was like dream
And the love I got from you
It was like a miracle

You used to call my name
with the sweetest voice I know
But now I'm just another face
And everything I have means nothing to me

Of all the people, we met
but we parted ways
Maybe we'll meet again someday
If we were meant to be
It'll be miracle

Just some thoughts

Lately I have been asking myself this question "Am I unlucky in love?". And I know the answer is half-half.. I am unlucky in the way that I liked the person I shouldn't like and the person I like doesn't like me back. However I also won't forget that there were people who loved me and even if they don't now, I was happy when they did.

Was I unlucky to have met you or were u unlucky to have met me? The choices were ours but we made it turned into this ugly ending. Was it my fault not to hold tightly to you or was it your fault to ask for a break up? Everytime I ask those questions, I feel so suffocated. As much as I want to, I cannot complain about how could you change your mind so easily and leave me. I simply have to accept or otherwise I am going to live with anger my whole life. That is just not me.. I am not the type to put all the blame on people. I know I was wrong to some extent, however I am not guilty.
 I don't believe it was because of our fate either. Fate creates meeting and goodbyes are just people' choices. But what I keep thinking is what have I gained and lost from meeting you. I was happy and yes, lucky to receive love and care. And I was devasted and unlucky to let my heart break again. I don't know but definitely I was not unlucky.

And I won't consider myself unlucky for anything.. things just happen and I'll just try to accept as they are.. simple mind, simple happiness and live peacefully.

Random Post #6

Saw a friend's post about Bambino song and happened to listen to this song



ေငြေၾကးေတြ မျပည့္စံုတဲ့ငါ ေရွ႕ေရးကို ေတြ႕ၾကံဳ တဲ့အခါ
ဆက္ျပီးေတာ့ မေျပာပါနဲ႔ကြာ မင္းမုန္းသြားမွာ ငါအေၾကာက္ဆံုးပါ
မ်က္၀န္းေတြ သိမ္းလိုက္ေတာ့မယ္ ဖြင့္မေျပာဘူး ထိန္းလိုက္ေတာ့မယ္
ျဖစ္ႏိုင္ရင္ ငါ့ရဲ႕အခ်စ္ေတြ တစ္ျခားတစ္ေယာက္ဆီ ယိမ္းလိုက္ေတာ့မယ္
....

Well, as a teenager, this song was one of my fav songs. But this part of the lyrics always irritated me. One reason is why we need to love other person just because we don't have courage to love that person. Another reason is I myself is the one who is afraid of financial situations among two different people. I don't have faith in myself. I don't think I can handle severe poverty or being low class. And I also don't think I can handle marrying to a person from different background, be it very poor or very rich. Frankly speaking, I don't fancy rich guys and it's a far cry for me to have relationship with them. But what if I happen to like them or give them a space in my heart??? Well.. I think I should change my teenager's opinion and resort to that lyrics... Just keep that damn feelings and wait time to forget.

One more day from exam , study hasn't finished and I am feeling crazy... And this is really really random post..

Uncertainity of Future

Lately, I have been gettine news of friends losing family members. First, the friend whose father is a very good person though I have only met him for a few times. And my schoolmate lose her brother just suddenly. It just scare me so much of death.

I don't know when I will be losing my father, my mother, my brother and my sisters. No I am not going to be trouble myself everyday with this fear. But I really can't imagine myself without them. Each of them is very important to me. They are the reason I am here to this day. I have never forgotten the support and care I received from them .. every single details. The pain of losing them .. I don't ever want to face. But again, we just don't know what will happen tomorrow.. Just the thought of it is scary,very very scary and depressing.

But for now, I just have to live everyday praying them to be healthy and safe. Especially papa, mama and brother who are living far far away from me....
I am just missing you all.