Turning Point

I am having a feeling that 2012 will be a big turning point for me.. like 2008 had been to me.
Yeah, I will be graduating soon.. though it's just a diploma. I am not feeling very happy for that as I know difficulities will be coming along after the graduation.

I am currently looking for job opportunities but I am lack of courages. Whenever I see the skills required in job description, I am starting to doubt my skills. And I realize more and more that I have no specialized skills. That's what my diploma turns me out. I know IT and I know some of business theories, but that doesn't mean I am good at both subjects. In fact, I am good at none. It just makes me feel not going for work force and stick at studying for more three years untill I specialize in at least one major very well.. :S

I got invitation from NUS to visit their school and explore about their education programmes, financial aids and scholarships. This is very very good opportunity, but will visiting NUS let me able to continue my university study there? I already have the answer of "No". It's so sad to say the truth but yeah.. I can't really afford it. Besides, I want to be free from this life of depending on my brother. My parents will not be able to support it , so I have left with not much choice. It's either I struggle hard and study or live comfortably and work. I am weighing the options. But I think I would choose University Study if there is a way out . :)

Besides school and work, I really want to be free from these hardship feelings of relationships. I am really tired of it actually. I am selfish and I know it. But I don't want to accept things that I don't want anymore. And I also don't want to dream and chase the things that cannot exist anymore. The reality is shocking. There are much more important things than love for me now. I realize more and more that I hate the feeling of being someone's belonging. I just want to be me, myself and be freeee. I hope this doesn't offend anyone..

Wish 2012 will bring me "bright future and good things" to me..

Let go and Be happy

In relationship, you have to learn how to let your lover go and when to do so. If you feel he/she is not the right person for you, or when you think he/she doesn't love you anymore or when he/she asks for a break up, why should you hold and don't let him/her go?
May be your partner is feeling confused or frustrated at that moment, or may be there is really no bond between you two anymore. But sticking to that relationship that doesn't make you happy is not a better choice than having a break up relationship.

Relationships are good, but when it turns cold, it really makes people feel a heavy burden.
I am seeing all those things all the times. And I think love without any attachments or strings is really better than love with a relationship. We won't need to care about other's family, friends or many many social factors. You may feel tired in half way cuz of those things, but if you and your partner love each other so much, there's nothing to care about.

But yeah.. when you feel like breaking up.. or she/he feel like breaking up and not enjoying each other's accompany any more..........................?.. Just let it go..

Just let the person go because if you do so, you will not be hurt anymore, and the person will also feel happy and be freed. May be for a few months, you may suffer, but in the end it's the best way for both of you. Who knows? After the break up, your partner may come back to you if he/she couldn't forget you. Or may be you will find your Mr.Right / Mrs. Right after this..
 
               Don't be afraid of saying Goodbye because fate will not let you have chance to say "Goodbye" to a person if you're destined to be with him/her.

BRAIN DEADLOCK!

It's so true that it's very difficult to wash the brain.
I don't know why it's really hard to forget things.
It's not like I don't want to, I tried.. and I tried.
But in the end, I still end up remembering.

Those moments that I realize some of my passwords are named for unforgettable day of my life..... Moments that I am entering someone's birth date when I supposed to enter mine or  moments that I entered someone's old phone number while I am trying to call the phone shop near my house.... I feel like I am going crazy..
I really hate those moments........................

Old habits never changes..
Everything about someone is just popping up my mind anytime anywhere without any reasons. How can I stop it?
I just feel tired and sick of myself... Such a stupid and stubborn brain...
YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON!! MY BRAIN!!

Always Outsider

A relationship with 3 persons is never good.. whether it is friendship or love affair or team.
Because one person will always be closer with another person out of two, and the other person will always be alone. That two people can go together and do things together without other person and they won't think of that person first when they have things to share.
That's how triangle relationship are suck.
And I am totally sick of it.
I do nothing wrong, I treat all persons well, but sadly what I give is not equal to what I receive back..
So, I will stop giving , I will stop treating well, and I will just be myself and be selfish so that I won't get hurt anymore.

သူမင္းကိုဘယ္ေတာ့မွ

Favourite Poem 
မင္း သူ႔ကိုလိုက္ရွာရင္
မင္း သူ႔ကိုဘယ္ေတာ့မွ ေတြ႔မွာမဟုတ္ဘူး
ဒါေပမယ့္
မင္း သူ႔ကို လိုက္မရွာရင္လည္း
သူ မင္းကို ဘယ္ေတာ့မွ ျမင္ေအာင္ျပမွာမဟုတ္ဘူး။
(ဂ်ဴး၏ သူမင္းကို ဘယ္ေတာ့မွ)

English Version (Forgive me if my translation is not good)
If you are looking for him,
You will never find him.
However....
If you are not looking for him,
He will never show himself in front of you..
(From Juu - "He will never.." )

This is really really true to me right now. I never know that it's really hard to look for a person who runs away and hides from you. Yes, I think it's ok for me to remember this time and talk to one person and ask some questions that will help me to make decision.
I really need to talk to a person...

Happy Myanmar New Year

It's been a very very long time that I didn't post anything on my blog. (Hmm.. I think I am saying that in every post.. :S)

Myanmar Thingyan festival has been finished, and now It's Myanmar New Year Day =) I think I should enjoy today.. though I can't go to Pagoda just like I did in my past years at Yangon. awww.. How I miss Yangon.. T_T

I am browsing through my luggage and I found the letters and presents from my friends, family and my special person. Reading those letters again makes me smile and give much encouragement. It let me think like this.. "Oh! I have lots of friends who like me  for just the way I am.  I have my family who cares me, never have grudges no matter what I did. And I have one special person, the only guy I care in the world.  So why must I feel so sad and miserable because of the person who doesn't even care about my birthday, who doesn't even hold memories of me, and who has never been really serious about the love I have for him.  I have just try not to think about those, value my friendship with my friends, value my family and value my special person and value the time being together. " .. It really makes me feel happy. I think I should be back to normal, try not to be so emo very often and yes _ try harder starting from today, Myanmar New Year.

Final Year Project, Third Year  Hard Core Modules (Student killer modules), Thinkquest Competition  ... I am getting ready to face you all and break you all down ! 

And yes.. I wish all of you Happy Myanmar New Year.. :) I don't want to post in Facebook as I think not many people care about those kind of post and it seems cheap to wish ppl who I don't even know. (Can it be called as "naughty"?)

Random Day Post

I don't know why. But I see couples loving each other in the morning and evening.. and then fighting over FB at night.. Is there something wrong?

Well, actually, I did not expect anything for Valentine (really). But the only thing I want is to eat chocolate from ppl who loves me. Friends also can give me. :P

Anyway, my sis gave me.. so I don't have much to complain about.

But the thing that is making me frustrated is the conversation we have (as usual).

I thought and decided not to forgive and forget about it. But I couldn't.
I thought I have hated. But I didn't, and I couldn't.
I thought I could control myself. But I couldn't.

I am not the one who give priority to my feelings. I use my brain and my head for my actions. For sure, I can't turn back. I know it by heart, know it from bottom, up .. all the times. But what the hell is wrong with me? Second thought? No wayyyy.

But I wish I could go back Myanmar this break if I didn't get IEP.
I wish my mum would allow me.
I wish someone wouldn't mind it.
I wish my father wouldn't mind it.
I wish, I wish..... I always wish the things that is difficult to become true.

UT3 ... IEP (or) PP .... FYP... Third Year... (A change in My life????)

Yep, the last day of Year 2 semester 2 is over now.. and I will have to go through the tough tough UT3..
Yes, I keep playing games and I am feeling very very lazy to do studying. But then, I know I will just have to worry about one module. :S :S

Intership matter is still not sure, while the school is near to close. I am worried whether I have to do PP in my third year. :(
If I don't have IEP, I would like to go back to Myanmar though I am a bit afriad of my father. But then, I also need to save money.. Arr, really a headache and stressful thing.

And FINAL YEAR PROJECT, the worst thing that has happened to me. It's really a nightmare. Yep, the project is also going for world competition. But I have never had enough confidence or ability for this kind of challenge. I am really really worried. Even if my future would be good, I am sure I will face a lot of difficulities, depressions and I will lost happiness too.
Don't think I want to leave my friends, I never had a thought of doing my FYPs with others. Things just happened, and I was left with no choice. Well, anyway, it was my fault overall. Now, I am stuck with this FYP thing where I am supposed to cooperate with the people I never know , besides the IT geeks. I just want to die...huu...

Well, I hope everything will be fine, I really really hope. And I will just keep trying my best.. yep.. trying my best... as I LIKE..................................

May the pains I suffer be paid of well when it's over.


FYI, My valentine event will be of no fun.. I think I can celebrate later. In fact, time really doesn't matter.


KHIN THUZAR THIN