I was in Grade 7 when I first knew him. It was not love at first sight. The first day we met, we were fighting silently with our badminton skills. I think it's his smile I fell for.I couldn't speak to him when I knew I liked him. At that time, writing in 'Auto' book was trend. So I asked my friend's help to let him write in my book. His handwriting was pretty. What he wrote was just a popular poem. I don't remember the exact words but the meaning is "Don't let the stone 'LOVE' destroys your ship 'Education' in life." Something like that. Our friendship wasn't that good and also not that bad.
Another year passed, and it seemed like he noticed I liked him. His manners changed whenever he saw me. It's like acting cool. But it became so annoying as time passed. Neglect and awkwardness were all I got from him. My pride was somehow hurt. But I was not the age to think and care about pride, attitudes, family background, etc. All I know was I like him and I simply hoped he would like me someday.
Though most of the times we just exchanged our glances, there were times I can never forget. If you have watched the korean drama 'My Girl', there was a famous scene in it where people see the person they love when they open their eyes after counting to ten. I did it during a festival. Among so many people, I closed my eyes and counted 1,2,3...,10 and I opened my eyes. Seconds later I was temporarily stunned because in front of my eyes, he was standing with his friends staring at me and he might probably wondering what the hell this girl was doing. My mind just went black and the last thing I knew was me running so fast and finding it hard to accept things that just happend. I was just testing out drama sayings and why this thing got to be so damn true at that time.
Things got worse when I moved to the place nearer to his house. He was in a boy group and they always intentionally walked in front of my house, making noises and alarming me. He walked like he didn't care, but his friends turned their heads to check me out. The neighbourhood boys started teasing me with him. So irritating! This was when I started to ignore him and this was when another person came into my mind slowly. My unrequited love just began to fade away like that.
May be in his mind, he liked me a tiny bit out of sympathy. But he just had no interest in me. And also things just won't work out between us. The more I know him, the more I realize it was just his appearance that attracted me, not his mind or his manners.
However, I still feel sad whenever I hear about one-sided love. I don't know why, I don't understand my mind. May be because I never had a chance to confess him. Or may be because he didn't like me back and it hurted my self-esteem. But I don't hate him, and I still talk to him sometimes. Because I am curious to who he will love someday and devotes himself. :)
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