My Once Best Friend

It was during my grade 6 school days, she and I were inseparable friends. She has tomboy characters and she cannot get along with most of friends. Since the start of school days, we have been getting along so well. She has the milky skin that I always envy. When I asked her why her skin is so white and beautiful, she said she shower with milk. Well I did believe it that time. She likes to make up stories and I always believe those.  I liked being with her, I liked sharing food with her and I really liked her. But at that time, I had another close friend called Zu Zu from different class who was separated from me for that school year. So, I mostly went to another class looking for Zu Zu. When the classes end, I also went to look for Zu Zu. So she was not happy with that. The thing about me is I want to be friends with many people. It's not about loyalty , I am loyal to all of my best friends. It's just I like making many friends.

I don't remember how things went wrong, but I remembered one day we had a big fight. I can't recall the reason I was angry, but I remembered I threw all the things on the desk and shouted her. Such a bad temper I had back then. And last thing I know is that we didn't talk with each other and I went out with other friends. I regretted and wanted to make up. But fate wasn't on my side. Her grades went down and we were in different classes next year. However I visited her and talked to her. But there were awkwardness and I didn't know how to fix that somehow broken friendship. It was very sad. The worse thing is she has no anger left. I think she made her mind to keep a distance with me and I can never reach close to her. Still then, I went around classes and talked with her. After matriculation exam, I lost many contacts and till now I haven't met with her again. But the guilt I feel still exists. I want to meet her, I want to tell her how much I felt sorry. And I want to tell her that fighting with her was the most regrettable action I did in my life. That my personality somehow changed and I dare not to use violence and speak bad words to people any more. I am afraid to lose because I know how bad is the feeling of regret.

And this friend who I always remember, I hope she still remembers me. A beautiful name she has which is called 'Yin Yin'. Someday in somewhere, I wish the fate to bring us together.