Back to Reality

  I have been trying to escape from this boring city life since my exam finished. Also in actual, I have done so by having a month-visit to my hometown Yangon and travelling to the places I have been wanting so much to go.
  I have gone to Kyait Htee Yoe (English Name- Golden Rock) and Chaung Thar Beach , and several places of Yangon. What made me more happy is to know there are friends who still care for me and our friendship haven't been changed. I miss those old times that we laughed and played together, studied together and got mad at each other for small things. Old classmates and childhood friends are people who can't be replaced. :)
  I didn't visit to any relatives as my mum doesn't like the idea. She has her own feelings and reasons though I feel sad for that. Why relatives from mum sides are so bad and everything is like fake. When I was young, I always thought my dad's relatives are not good because they didn't communicate with us much. But I think I get wrong idea. They are better than mum's side because at least they don't give trouble. Anyway I am not so close to them, and that is the best way I can avoid their troubles.
  I should post some photos from Yangon Visit. :) Here they come!

Shwe Dagon Pagoda on my first day at Yangon (24.2.2012)

At Poe Kalar Island, Chaung Thar Beach 

Every moment in Chaung Thar is very very nice. With fresh air and nice scenery, I really enjoyed it. Besides I love seafood cooked by villagers too! :)

At Kyout Tann Yay Lal Pagoda - (18.3.2012)  with my best friend's family help 

At Kyite Htee Yoe Pagoda (19.3.2012) with again with my another friend's family

At Airport (though this is not a final parting, I felt kinda sad to leave my parents again ) 

So that's all for now.. Nite!

Pride

Even though I am not a proud person, I have my own pride that I value. I have pride on my education and on my being a girl.
There are things that we shouldn't do even though we want to do badly as it will affect our pride. Like if a girl like a boy, she cannot show her feelings towards him first. Confession needs lots of courage for a girl. And my friend says don't show all of your true and innocent feelings to the person you love most as they won't value them if you show much. I think that's quite true. People will step on you if you are being too nice. :)
So, I am now trying to hide my feelings for the sake of my pride. But I am so tired of doing so too. :( 

No Special Title

Early morning on my way to school, I just snapped a small leaf for fun, but it happened that I got two couple leaves. Blame myself for always thinking far beyond and I suddenly become missing the things I should not miss.. Looking at the two leaves and thinking they might love each other so much to follow each other, I am thinking of 'you and me'. It just made me feel blue..

So meanwhile,  I am trying to comfort myself with Aung La songs.. for his songs are always similar like my feelings.. 

 All time favourite songs

A quite good and surprising day :)

I am really in good mood right now. I can't express enough of my feeling. :)

During my class time, I am quite playful today and slacking but I think my faci won't mind it because he knows I can solve today's problem well. :D (like no need to check :P )
And I had a great time talking with my particular nice team mate. :)

First, my final year project evaluation is over and the work load that is stressing me is finally turned to ashes :P . It went well I supposed. After that, we took several happy pictures and then we had a nice dinner! :)

Secondly, I saw my brother's pictures from Yangon trip and it just makes me happy to see my parents picture (couple couple picture! :D )

Thirdly, my mum called me and promised me that she would find an excuse for me to come back to Yangon.. heeehee nothing would make me happier than her promise.. for I am dying to go back to Yangon!

And last , but not least I got surprising grades in class despite me being slacking and playful in the classes.. I think facis are quite generous these dayss.. hee hee.. Here is the prove. Even though I didn't write RJ, I luckily got A ;)

Okie.. Time to sleep with happy feelingsss ^_^ Good Night!

The best ever Friday 13 For Myanmar

Today is really one of the best day of my life, and can also be said one of the happiest day for Myanmar Citizens. :)

Majority of myanmar Political Prisoners has been freed by the new Government. Though I don't know much of them, there are few persons that I really respect such as U Khin Nyunt, Ko Nay Phone Latt, Ko Min Ko Naing, Ma Su Su Nwe and some I cannot remember the name. I almost cried when I heard this news because I was too happy. 

But honestly, I still don't have much faith in the new Government as majority are comprised of military people, especially U Thein Sein. I welcome their changing behaviours and the good deeds they are doing to bring up the country image, but I am also expecting the worst. But if all these changes are really real good intentions made by them, then I wish the best for their future and Myanmar Future.

Well, though I am not a political person, I just want to say "Thank you, President U Thein Sein for your kindness to free imprisoned politicians and give us hope to see Myanmar shining  amongst all other countries" :) 

Turning Point

I am having a feeling that 2012 will be a big turning point for me.. like 2008 had been to me.
Yeah, I will be graduating soon.. though it's just a diploma. I am not feeling very happy for that as I know difficulities will be coming along after the graduation.

I am currently looking for job opportunities but I am lack of courages. Whenever I see the skills required in job description, I am starting to doubt my skills. And I realize more and more that I have no specialized skills. That's what my diploma turns me out. I know IT and I know some of business theories, but that doesn't mean I am good at both subjects. In fact, I am good at none. It just makes me feel not going for work force and stick at studying for more three years untill I specialize in at least one major very well.. :S

I got invitation from NUS to visit their school and explore about their education programmes, financial aids and scholarships. This is very very good opportunity, but will visiting NUS let me able to continue my university study there? I already have the answer of "No". It's so sad to say the truth but yeah.. I can't really afford it. Besides, I want to be free from this life of depending on my brother. My parents will not be able to support it , so I have left with not much choice. It's either I struggle hard and study or live comfortably and work. I am weighing the options. But I think I would choose University Study if there is a way out . :)

Besides school and work, I really want to be free from these hardship feelings of relationships. I am really tired of it actually. I am selfish and I know it. But I don't want to accept things that I don't want anymore. And I also don't want to dream and chase the things that cannot exist anymore. The reality is shocking. There are much more important things than love for me now. I realize more and more that I hate the feeling of being someone's belonging. I just want to be me, myself and be freeee. I hope this doesn't offend anyone..

Wish 2012 will bring me "bright future and good things" to me..

Let go and Be happy

In relationship, you have to learn how to let your lover go and when to do so. If you feel he/she is not the right person for you, or when you think he/she doesn't love you anymore or when he/she asks for a break up, why should you hold and don't let him/her go?
May be your partner is feeling confused or frustrated at that moment, or may be there is really no bond between you two anymore. But sticking to that relationship that doesn't make you happy is not a better choice than having a break up relationship.

Relationships are good, but when it turns cold, it really makes people feel a heavy burden.
I am seeing all those things all the times. And I think love without any attachments or strings is really better than love with a relationship. We won't need to care about other's family, friends or many many social factors. You may feel tired in half way cuz of those things, but if you and your partner love each other so much, there's nothing to care about.

But yeah.. when you feel like breaking up.. or she/he feel like breaking up and not enjoying each other's accompany any more..........................?.. Just let it go..

Just let the person go because if you do so, you will not be hurt anymore, and the person will also feel happy and be freed. May be for a few months, you may suffer, but in the end it's the best way for both of you. Who knows? After the break up, your partner may come back to you if he/she couldn't forget you. Or may be you will find your Mr.Right / Mrs. Right after this..
 
               Don't be afraid of saying Goodbye because fate will not let you have chance to say "Goodbye" to a person if you're destined to be with him/her.

BRAIN DEADLOCK!

It's so true that it's very difficult to wash the brain.
I don't know why it's really hard to forget things.
It's not like I don't want to, I tried.. and I tried.
But in the end, I still end up remembering.

Those moments that I realize some of my passwords are named for unforgettable day of my life..... Moments that I am entering someone's birth date when I supposed to enter mine or  moments that I entered someone's old phone number while I am trying to call the phone shop near my house.... I feel like I am going crazy..
I really hate those moments........................

Old habits never changes..
Everything about someone is just popping up my mind anytime anywhere without any reasons. How can I stop it?
I just feel tired and sick of myself... Such a stupid and stubborn brain...
YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON!! MY BRAIN!!

Always Outsider

A relationship with 3 persons is never good.. whether it is friendship or love affair or team.
Because one person will always be closer with another person out of two, and the other person will always be alone. That two people can go together and do things together without other person and they won't think of that person first when they have things to share.
That's how triangle relationship are suck.
And I am totally sick of it.
I do nothing wrong, I treat all persons well, but sadly what I give is not equal to what I receive back..
So, I will stop giving , I will stop treating well, and I will just be myself and be selfish so that I won't get hurt anymore.

သူမင္းကိုဘယ္ေတာ့မွ

Favourite Poem 
မင္း သူ႔ကိုလိုက္ရွာရင္
မင္း သူ႔ကိုဘယ္ေတာ့မွ ေတြ႔မွာမဟုတ္ဘူး
ဒါေပမယ့္
မင္း သူ႔ကို လိုက္မရွာရင္လည္း
သူ မင္းကို ဘယ္ေတာ့မွ ျမင္ေအာင္ျပမွာမဟုတ္ဘူး။
(ဂ်ဴး၏ သူမင္းကို ဘယ္ေတာ့မွ)

English Version (Forgive me if my translation is not good)
If you are looking for him,
You will never find him.
However....
If you are not looking for him,
He will never show himself in front of you..
(From Juu - "He will never.." )

This is really really true to me right now. I never know that it's really hard to look for a person who runs away and hides from you. Yes, I think it's ok for me to remember this time and talk to one person and ask some questions that will help me to make decision.
I really need to talk to a person...

Happy Myanmar New Year

It's been a very very long time that I didn't post anything on my blog. (Hmm.. I think I am saying that in every post.. :S)

Myanmar Thingyan festival has been finished, and now It's Myanmar New Year Day =) I think I should enjoy today.. though I can't go to Pagoda just like I did in my past years at Yangon. awww.. How I miss Yangon.. T_T

I am browsing through my luggage and I found the letters and presents from my friends, family and my special person. Reading those letters again makes me smile and give much encouragement. It let me think like this.. "Oh! I have lots of friends who like me  for just the way I am.  I have my family who cares me, never have grudges no matter what I did. And I have one special person, the only guy I care in the world.  So why must I feel so sad and miserable because of the person who doesn't even care about my birthday, who doesn't even hold memories of me, and who has never been really serious about the love I have for him.  I have just try not to think about those, value my friendship with my friends, value my family and value my special person and value the time being together. " .. It really makes me feel happy. I think I should be back to normal, try not to be so emo very often and yes _ try harder starting from today, Myanmar New Year.

Final Year Project, Third Year  Hard Core Modules (Student killer modules), Thinkquest Competition  ... I am getting ready to face you all and break you all down ! 

And yes.. I wish all of you Happy Myanmar New Year.. :) I don't want to post in Facebook as I think not many people care about those kind of post and it seems cheap to wish ppl who I don't even know. (Can it be called as "naughty"?)

Random Day Post

I don't know why. But I see couples loving each other in the morning and evening.. and then fighting over FB at night.. Is there something wrong?

Well, actually, I did not expect anything for Valentine (really). But the only thing I want is to eat chocolate from ppl who loves me. Friends also can give me. :P

Anyway, my sis gave me.. so I don't have much to complain about.

But the thing that is making me frustrated is the conversation we have (as usual).

I thought and decided not to forgive and forget about it. But I couldn't.
I thought I have hated. But I didn't, and I couldn't.
I thought I could control myself. But I couldn't.

I am not the one who give priority to my feelings. I use my brain and my head for my actions. For sure, I can't turn back. I know it by heart, know it from bottom, up .. all the times. But what the hell is wrong with me? Second thought? No wayyyy.

But I wish I could go back Myanmar this break if I didn't get IEP.
I wish my mum would allow me.
I wish someone wouldn't mind it.
I wish my father wouldn't mind it.
I wish, I wish..... I always wish the things that is difficult to become true.

UT3 ... IEP (or) PP .... FYP... Third Year... (A change in My life????)

Yep, the last day of Year 2 semester 2 is over now.. and I will have to go through the tough tough UT3..
Yes, I keep playing games and I am feeling very very lazy to do studying. But then, I know I will just have to worry about one module. :S :S

Intership matter is still not sure, while the school is near to close. I am worried whether I have to do PP in my third year. :(
If I don't have IEP, I would like to go back to Myanmar though I am a bit afriad of my father. But then, I also need to save money.. Arr, really a headache and stressful thing.

And FINAL YEAR PROJECT, the worst thing that has happened to me. It's really a nightmare. Yep, the project is also going for world competition. But I have never had enough confidence or ability for this kind of challenge. I am really really worried. Even if my future would be good, I am sure I will face a lot of difficulities, depressions and I will lost happiness too.
Don't think I want to leave my friends, I never had a thought of doing my FYPs with others. Things just happened, and I was left with no choice. Well, anyway, it was my fault overall. Now, I am stuck with this FYP thing where I am supposed to cooperate with the people I never know , besides the IT geeks. I just want to die...huu...

Well, I hope everything will be fine, I really really hope. And I will just keep trying my best.. yep.. trying my best... as I LIKE..................................

May the pains I suffer be paid of well when it's over.


FYI, My valentine event will be of no fun.. I think I can celebrate later. In fact, time really doesn't matter.


KHIN THUZAR THIN

I Am Still Beautiful

I am really really in love with this song. ^_^
The feelings of a strong women with a broken heart--such a beautiful lyrics.. :)
Hope you guys enjoy!



“he is leaving.
I’m letting him go.
without holding him back
without dropping a tear
I’m letting him go.

all the romance is dead
it’s now an extravagant memory
if I cry just once
and hurt just once
everything will be over.

don’t say you know me.
the me that you knew is no more.
in the suffocating darkness.
I’m already familiar with this hurt
I’ve already found my happiness again.

forget about me~ please
don’t wake me up who is sleeping,
before the night is over
if I open my eyes
would I be able to sleep?

the words I hate more than dying.
the childish words I couldn’t convey..
"To come back"
"To love me"
"To embrance me again."

Don’t expect any of that from me~ really.
I’m not that kind of woman.

I’m still pretty
and lovable.
I’m very happy.”

--------------------------------------------------

Things solved. Relief

Finally, he accepted the truth. The truth that he was refusing to believe, and the truth that is totally true. The truth is "I cannot come back , return to the past  as I have changed so much".

I admit that I cannot forget him. The memories I have are so much that it's really not forgettable. But I will just keep those deep in my mind, and never let them resurface.

Actually, I am glad for him. He has faced the challenge. He has woken up from the dream. And the best thing is that he handled the situation well and he controlled himself. I am thankful to him, and also feel sorry to him. But I think he has grown up a lot than I expected.

Merry Christmase ahead and Happy New Year.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Current Fav Song..

Well, they are old songs and it was my first time listening to those. My parents didn't collect songs and I have only heard of the songs that my neighbour hood listens. :D

Currently, I listen to Kine Zar, May Sweet and May Khalar songs. I kind of heard about their love triangle, but I am not so sure. But I don't know.. I feel a bit sad for them....
Okie.. Let me share the songs. :)

တူႏွစ္ကိုယ္တိုင္းျပည္ဆိုလားပဲ.. အသံအရမ္းေကာင္းတယ္.. :)




ဒါကေတာ့ အနမ္းပန္းတဲ့. ဒါေတာ့ သိပ္မၾကိဳက္ဘူး..

ဘာရယ္မဟုတ္ညာရယ္မဟုတ္

New Post ေရးခ်င္စိတ္တာရွိတာ၊ တကယ္ေတာ့ ဘာမွ ေရးစရာမရွိ။ စိတ္ထဲရွိတာေတြ ခ်ေရးရရင္ အကုန္လုံး ဝမ္းနည္းစရာေတြပဲေနလိမ့္မယ္။

ဒီတစ္ေလာ လူကမွုိင္ခ်င္တယ္။ ရန္ကုန္ျပန္ရမွာ.ေပ်ာ္လည္း ေပ်ာ္တယ္။ ေၾကာက္လည္း ေၾကာက္မိတယ္။ ေဝးသြားလို႔ ေမ့ထားခဲ့တဲ့အရာေတြ. ျပန္ေပၚလာမွာေၾကာက္တယ္။ ျပီးေတာ့ သူငယ္ခ်င္းေတြနဲ႔ အဆင္မေျပမွာလည္း ေၾကာက္တယ္။ တစ္မ်ိဴးၾကီးပဲ။

အခ်ိန္ေတြကကုန္ျမန္တယ္။ လုပ္စရာေတြကလည္း တစ္ပံုၾကီး။ ျပီး ဘာမွလည္း မလုပ္ျဖစ္ျပန္ဘူး။ ဒီလိုနဲ႔ ရန္ကုန္ကေရာက္ဦးမယ္။ :(

ေဒါသလည္း ထြက္ျမန္တယ္။ ငိုလည္း ငိုလြယ္တယ္။ အားငယ္စိတ္ေတြလည္း အျမဲဝင္ေနတယ္။ စိတ္ဆိုးရင္.. ဝမ္းနည္းလာတယ္။ တကယ္ စိတ္ဆိုးခံရတဲ့သူက ဘာမွ မျဖစ္ပါဘူး.. စိတ္ဆိုးတဲ့သူက ျပန္ငိုေနရတယ္..ေလာကၾကီးက မတရားလိုက္တာ။

ဘာပဲျဖစ္ျဖစ္ ျဖစ္ခ်င္တာေတြ ျဖစ္လာမယ့္အခ်ိန္..ေပ်ာ္စရာေတြၾကံဳရမယ့္ အခ်ိန္ေတြေရာက္ေတာ့မယ္။။... ဒါေပမယ့္. မျဖစ္သင့္တာေတြ မျဖစ္ပါေစနဲ႔ဆိုတာေတာ့ ေန႔တုိင္း ဆုေတာင္းေနရဦးမယ္..... :(

A song I Like

I've just listened to a song that is shared on Facebook. It's Moe Moe's song.

I don't like Moe Moe so much, expect his very few song. For this song, I just like the lyrics.it suits my feelings currently. :D.. well, I can't deny Moe Moe is a good song composer. :)
 
Let me share the song.. :)



And the lyrics... :D

ေနဝင္ခ်ိန္ေတြေမွာင္လြန္း... မင္းမရွိေန႔ရက္မ်ား.....
နာက်င္ေနဒီဒုကၡမ်ား... ငါေလလႊင့္ပစ္လို႔ရမလား....
ေပ်ာ္ရြင္စရာေတြအသံမဲ့.. ရင္ခုန္ကင္းမဲ့ေန႔ရက္မ်ား....
ငိုခ်င္တာေတြထိန္းရလို႔.. ၾကာရင္ရူးလို႔သြားမွာလား.....
အလင္းတန္းမ်ားလိုအျပံဳးေလး.. ငါေမ့လို႔ရမွာလား....
စြဲလန္းျခင္းေတြႏွိပ္စက္လို႔ ငါလန့္ႏိုးခဲ့အိပ္မက္မ်ား...
ရင္းႏွီးခဲ့ရဖူးတဲ့မင္းရဲ႔ပါးျပင္အား ...တမ္းတလို႔ငါလြမ္းခဲ့ရ
ရွည္ၾကာလြန္းတဲ့အခိုက္အတန္႔မ်ား~~~

ျပန္ဆံုႏုိင္ဖို႔အခြင့္အေရး..ငါေမွ်ာ္လင့္ခြင့္ရွိပါ့မလား...
ၾကင္နာသူေရမင္းမရွိေတာ..့ တကယ္ဆိတ္သုဥ္းခဲ့အိပ္မက္မ်ား..
ေပ်ာ္ရြင္ပါေစအခ်စ္ေလး ..ငါစိတ္ကူးထဲကအရိပ္မ်ား..
လိုခ်င္ေနတဲ့ဆုေတာင္းေလးေတြ တစ္ခ်ိန္မွာရဖို႔ျဖစ္ႏုိင္မလား...

အလင္းတန္းမ်ားလိုအျပံဳးေလး ငါေမ့လို႔ရမွာလား
စြဲလန္းျခင္းေတြႏွိပ္စက္လို႔ ငါလန္႔ႏိုးခဲ့အိပ္မက္မ်ား
ရင္းႏွီးခဲ့ရဖူးတဲ့မင္းရဲ႔ပါးျပင္အား တမ္းတလို႔ငါလြမ္းခဲ့ရ
ရွည္ၾကာလြန္းတဲ့အခုိက္အတန္႔မ်ား~~~~

အလင္းတန္းမ်ားလိုအျပံဳးေလး ငါေမ့လို႔ရမွာလား
စြဲလန္းျခင္းေတြႏွိပ္စက္လို႔ ငါလန္႔ႏိုးခဲ့အိမ္မက္ထဲမွာ
ရင္းႏွီးခဲ့ရဖူးတဲ့မင္းရဲ႔ပါးျပင္အား တမ္းတလို႔ငါလြမ္းခဲ့ရ
ရွည္ၾကာလြန္းတဲ့အခုိက္အတန္႔မ်ား~~~~
တမ္းတလို႔ ငါလြမ္းခဲ့ရ~~~~~
ရွည္ၾကာလြန္းတဲ့အခိုက္အတန္႔မ်ား~~~~~~

Random Feelings

I am starting to hate weekends. I notice that my mind is really going crazy every weekend. I hate doing chores, I hate the feeling that I have no one to talk, no one besides me. Though I love silence moments during holidays, I don't want to be alone. This really make me miss my home and friends in Yangon. Even though I had nothing to do in Yangon, I never feel so lonely as I always go to my friend's house or I have my mother accompanying me and always cook the food I asked randomly. T_T.. I am really feeling home sick.

And I think weekends are rushing days for someone and I hate that. The timing is really bad for us. I am always rushing on weekdays, and he, on weekend. What am I supposed to accept and handle it? This kind of situation really can make relationship so cold, I know it by my heart.. and I can't help but feel really sad for it. Well, hope I could endure it, hope I would be strong enough not to give up.

I am thinking about a person who always tell jokes and make me happy when we are together. It's hard to forget the words, and I hope I could hear those jokes again. There is a saying from that person that I cannot forget
       "စိတ္ဆိုးေအာင္လုပ္ႏုိင္ပါတယ္။ စိတ္နာေအာင္ မလုပ္ပါနဲ႔".


I am really sorry if I have ever made you feel hurt, my beloved ones..

Remembrance

A day like today should be a memorable day for every Myanmar.  I know they are trying to erase his history, his glory of braveness and his sacrifices. However, History can never be erased, and neither his image in Myanmar People's mind. Generation will carry on, and he will always be our respected person.


Well, I don't want to talk repeated words. Today is the day he left this world___ 19th July.
This post is just a random post for my remembrance  to him.

It's not a birthday,... so how could I say "Happy" word?  But, I hope another him which bring back sunshine to Myanmar......

                               The One I Respected Most (Bogyoke Aung San)

Btw, I want to share a sentence I like from this post.

ဗိုလ္ခ်ဳပ္က မေသေသးဘူး...
အခုထိ အသတ္ခံေနရတုန္း... လို႕ပဲ ၂၀၁၀ အာဇာနည္ေန႕မွာ ထပ္ေျပာခ်င္ပါတယ္။

With much respect,
Khin Thuzar Thin